Bottled Star
by WatermelonPie
Summary: Hinamori must restart her life after Aizen's betrayal. Luckily there are distractions, namely a young green eyed Captain who's always been there for her. But things become a lot more complicated when she learns it's not only her life that matters anymore.
1. Preface

**Title: Bottled Star**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Durr.**

**Rating: T**

**A/N: This is a small Preface I decided to start with, rather than just jumping right into things. It happens somewhere in the middle of the story, I suppose. So just for the sake of resolving any potential confusion: chapter one is set way before this. Enjoy :) **

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The wind ruffles my hair as I sit gazing thoughtfully up at the midnight sky. The soft breeze whispers in my ear; words of consolation and encouragement to persevere, I like to think. Because who else is there to turn to right now? All I have is the stars and the warm night breeze to seek comfort in. I lean back, against the cool surface of my 5th division building. So late at night, looking out at the dark Seireitei, it's easy to imagine I'm the only one awake.

I smooth down my Shihakusho, the soft fabric comforting my callused fingers. I've been spending countless hours in training, just Tobuime and I. Furthering my technique and pushing my endurance levels have become my only hobbies now. But I have to admit, it's been taking a toll on my weakened body. I'm reluctant to come to terms with everything that's happened. So to keep my thoughts from betraying my resolve, I must keep my body itself busy.

As I reach my midsection though, my fingers linger. I can't help it. The slight rise still seems surreal. But my queasiness in the mornings, coupled with the inability to even stomach foods that were once my favourite, well that proves it. I can't live in blissful ignorance forever. The child growing inside me would have to come out sooner or later. Oh that seems like such an impossible thought! A child, inside my own little body?

Despite the utter terror I feel simply by thinking about it, a faint smile touches my lips. God, this isn't going to be easy. But somehow, I wouldn't have it any other way.


	2. A clean slate

My feet dangle from the cot I've been living on for the past few weeks. I drop stiffly to the floor. My legs tingle and throb from disuse as they hit the hard wood of the 4th division headquarters' floor. I stretch my arms above my head and cross the room, coming to a halt just before the closed door. Everything's been a blur lately. Worst of all, no one's willing to give me many details on what's been going on around here. Fortunately I've been able to catch the gist of it from whispered conversations in the hall.

"_Have you heard? The situation in the world of the living continues to worsen. Aizen's creating an army of his own in Hueco Mundo."_

"_Yes I've heard! It's only a matter of time before they set their sights on the destruction of Seireitei. We're doomed."_

"_It's true. How can we possibly stand a chance now? Three divisions without captains! Things are in such disarray..."_

"_Yes and their lieutenants are in no fit state to take over for them. Especially that Momo Hinamori..."_

I have my ear pressed so hard against the door at this point, that I'm almost sure I can feel the wood splintering beneath it. So distracted by the spoils of my eavesdropping, I don't notice the approaching footsteps until it's too late.

"Feeling better, I take it?" Captain Unohana says, obviously trying to hide an amused smile.

"Errr, yes. I think I'm feeling quite a bit better." I brush myself off; fighting the hot blush I feel heating up my cheeks. "In fact, I think I've been ready to return to my duties for a while now!"

Unohana visibly stiffens. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, Hinamori. We gave you a chance a couple of days ago when we allowed you to speak with Captain Hitsugaya over the video monitor. You confirmed our suspicious; your mental state is not yet stable enough for us to allow you—"

I knew she'd bring that one up. "I realise I seemed a bit crazy and unreasonable. I've just been so tired. Not thinking straight. Seeing Hitsugaya-kun there, knowing he'd do anything for me, I just had to try! Now as I look back, I can see how foolish my actions were! I know Aizen is the Soul Society's enemy now."

"I understand that. But Commander-General Yamamoto has ordered me to evaluate your psychological condition, and based on your recent behaviour I can't say I really have faith in your ability to handle the current situation. In theory, you might think you'd be able to face Aizen as an enemy, but would you really be able to _fight _against him if the situation presented itself? Considering the intimacy of your past relationship, I don't believe you could truly do it. "

Her words strike me like a bucket of ice water. I feel my eyes burn with tears of anger and frustration. "Captain Unohana. You must believe me. I'm begging you! All I need is one more chance to prove I can handle this. I'm not asking on behalf of simply myself, but my entire division. They need someone to take control again! A leader to look to! I know I'm not their Captain, but they should have at least their lieutenant during such desperate times. Please!"

Unohana looks away. She lapses in silence for so long after my frantic speech that I grow worried I'd be standing here in anticipation forever. Finally ours eyes meet, and she sighs.

"Hinamori, your encounter with Captain Hitsugaya has shown me that you aren't yet back into your proper frame of mind." As I open my mouth to interrupt, Unohana holds up her hand. "But upon hearing and seeing your recent improvements, I feel I owe you this last chance. You have certainly proved yourself an asset to the Soul Society in the past, and this I cannot ignore. Considering the physical and emotional trauma you've only just undergone, I for one think your unstable behaviour is well justified. But please, do not make me regret this decision."

Unable to stop myself, I throw my arms around Unohana, grateful that someone is finally treating me with respect again. She tenses under my arms, but just as I'm about to pull away, I feel her muscles loosen as she gently returns the hug.

"I know I can get over all this." I vow solemnly.

As I turn to leave, I feel the slight pressure of her hand on my arm. Has she changed her mind? I turn to her in confusion. But as I'm about to beg her to reconsider, I see her expression. An uncharacteristically playful glint sparkles in her eyes as she looks down at me thoughtfully.

I raise a questioning eyebrow. "Is something the matter?"

"Oh no. Just thought I should tell you, the group that was sent to keep tabs on the world of the living are returning tonight." And with one last casual glance over her shoulder at my stunned figure, Unohana leaves the room.

My fingers tingle with shock and anticipation.

Shiro-chan's back.

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**There you go~!  
Review if you liked it! Or else I'll probably get discouraged and give up. boo.**


	3. Through the looking glass

**A/N: Hey! I know, long time no see, right? Not. I updated really quick, I know. Only cuz I started writing this chapter a while ago, and decided to neglect all math homework in order to finish it today. This is an anomaly, I promise. I do have a life, I swear! And I generally prioritize much better. Shame on me.  
Anywho. This scene ended up being really long for some reason. I even tried to split it in two, but it really wasn't working. I'm sorry in advance for how emotional and frail Momo seems. She just kinda took on a life of her own here, no matter how much I tried to steer her in a strong-in-the-face-of-adversity direction. She'll get a backbone eventually. If she lets me give her one. Such a stubborn fictional character, she is.  
Okay enough of my blather.  
On with the show**

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I step into my room for the first time in months. Honestly, it feels more like years. I can't remember the last time I'd been in here. Oh wait, yes I can. It was when I read that letter from Aiz—

Oh god.

I shut my eyes tightly. I can't let my thoughts stray in that direction. I didn't spend innumerable hours trying to forget, just to have nostalgia bring it all back. No.

Shaking my head slightly, I look around my little hole of a room. Everything's as I left it. My sleeping mat and blanket are neatly made. I run my hands fondly over the rough fabric. So uncomfortable and scratchy. I open my closet and stick my head in curiously. I don't know what I was expecting, but all I find are my Shinigami robes hanging tidily. Just as they should be.

I flop down into my desk chair. As I cradle my head in my hands, boredom slowly overwhelms me. What did I do before...err...the incident? I can't remember. Paper work and overseeing my division's activities, I think. Yes that seems right. But it's too early for that. I bet they won't so much as let me touch a document until I've had enough time to "settle in".

As I readjust myself in my seat, wiggling my bum around restlessly in the chair, I catch movement within my peripheral vision. I freeze. Why is my heart beating so fast? I turn my head slowly to the left. My breathing staggered and uneven, I can feel my pulse pounding in my ears. Finally my eyes settle on a young girl. Her hair is limp and unkempt, but the dark chestnut color is lovely. Her hand reaches up to lightly press its slender fingers against a sunken cheek. The peaches and cream complexion is somewhat ruined by her sickly pallor. She looks like she hasn't eaten or slept in so long. Her eyes are the worst part. Large and caramel, they should complete her pretty face. But they have those awful dark bags and creases below them. She looks terrible.

I stand and walk uncertainly towards the other side of the room. Brushing a thin layer of dust from the mirror, I stare with incredulity at what I can only assume is myself. Or rather, what I've become. No, that can't be me. How can this have possibly happened? Oh God. My dependence on that horrible Aizen caused this. I never thought I'd let myself go to this extent.

For the first time, I honestly feel true hatred. Those were empty words I spoke to Unohana. They only served the purpose of convincing her to let me go. They weren't the truth...at the time. But now, I can't control the pure anger that threatens to overtake my entire body. It throbs through my veins with every heartbeat. Closing my eyes tightly, tears streaking down my horribly gaunt face, I slam my clenched fist foreword into my pretty glass mirror. Or what was my pretty glass mirror.

It shatters into a million pieces upon impact. The tiny pieces tumble to the ground making a sound similar to wind chimes tinkling in the breeze. I enjoy the music for the split second before reality sets in and a white hot pain engulfs my still clenched fist. Half a dozen shards of glass stick out of my hand. I watch as the blood drips, collecting into nice puddle and seeping into the cracks between the floor boards.

"Ugh. That's going to be so hard to clean..." I mumble to myself, ignoring the slight roll of nausea in my stomach.

"That's just like you, isn't it? Gushing blood and all you can think about is how hard the clean up's going to be." A sarcastic voice comments from the doorway.

Startled, I spin around. "Shi—err---Hitsugaya-kun," I stutter in astonishment. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in the world of the living?"

Too late I remember what Unohana told me about his return this evening. I'm so absent-minded, it's ridiculous. How could I possibly forget about Shiro-chan coming back?

I quickly lower my head and racking my brain for a maturely worded apology. Several seconds pass in silence. Oh screw it.

"SHIIIRROOO-chan," I wail in distress, bloodied hand forgotten "I didn't mean those things I said to you. I was being naive and delusional. I don't know what I was thinking! I know better now! Aizen was horrible. The things he did were unforgivable. Please don't hate me! I promise I—"

Hitsugaya clamps a hand over my mouth, effectively cutting off my rambling. My eyes widen in surprise. He removes it reluctantly; probably afraid I'd start right back up again given the opportunity. But I remain silent.

"Momo for heaven sakes, I'm not angry."

Sure, I've heard that one before.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me," He complains, annoyed at my obvious disbelief "Now let me see the damage you've inflicted on that hand of yours." He reaches for my arm, which is hanging numbly by my side. But I pull away.

"Don't change the subject! If you're not angry, you must at least think me crazy. Crazy and obsessed, I bet." I can hear my voice, slowly becoming more shrill and desperate, but I can do nothing to stop it. "That's why you're here! To monitor me and make sure I don't do anything rash."

I look down at my fist. Blood continued to seep from the deep cuts.

"Everyone's suspicions are confirmed, I guess!" I sink to the floor, tears blurring my vision "You might as well just go tell Unohana I'm unfit to be released from her care."

I wait for his response, my eyes cast downwards; afraid of his expression. Just as I begin to feel as though I can wait no longer for it, I suddenly feel his arms around me. Suppressing a gasp, my body tenses in his embrace. I stubbornly keep my eyes on floor. Sighing, he tilts my chin up with his thumb, forcing our eyes to lock. He searches my face, those bright turquoise eyes of his filled with concern.

"Momo," I try to wiggle out of his grasp, but all I receive for my trouble is a sharp pinch on the nose. Hitsugaya glares at me. "You're being absurd. Absolutely absurd! Snap out of it! This isn't you. You're acting unreasonable and completely unlike yourself. The only person you have to blame for the lack of respect you're receiving is yourself. No one would have any reason to treat you differently if you didn't so easily supply them with one."

I can feel more tears welling in my eyes. Rubbing at them furiously, I curse my unstable female emotions. Well, at least I could always count on Hitsugaya for telling me the truth, even when it hurt. I sigh in defeat and take a few cleansing breaths to calm my utterly shattered nerves.

Despite himself, his lips pull up in the corners slightly. "Better? You're lucky I'm here to knock some sense into you when you really need it."

"What do you me 'knock'?" I scoff "You know very well you can't hit a girl. Plus there's the fact I could crush you with my thumb if I wanted to, Shiro-chan. It wouldn't exactly be a fair fight."

Hitsugaya offers a rare smile in response. My stomach gives a little flip. Huh? That's new. He reaches up and gently wipes a smudge of blood from my cheek. I swallow hard. I feel as though I've lost the ability to move. The ability to breath. It's as if I'm seeing really seeing my Shiro-chan for the first time.

Sitting there, so close our noses almost touch, I take in every detail of his familiar face. Those strange green/blue eyes of his, so full of maturity and vulnerability at the same time. His snow white hair sticks up in all directions. I reach up and comb my fingers through it, trying to tame it a little. In vain, apparently. I sigh, reminding myself that his hair has always been this impossible. Ever since we were young and I'd watch his grandmother trying to flatten it with water, while Hitsugaya whined his useless protests. I'm instantly stricken by the sudden overwhelming affection I feel for the boy in front of me. Never, not even with Aizen, had I felt this way. No, with Aizen I had worshiped the very ground he walked upon. He inspired me, and I idolized his very existence. But now, I felt something different. Something deeper. Scarier.

I attempt to stand, but tiredness suddenly engulfs me. Losing my footing, I yelp in surprise and pitch foreword. The floor rises to meet me, and as I anticipate the painfully inevitable impact, everything goes black.

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**So there it is. I'll start on the next chapter soon.  
My best ideas come to me when I'm dozing in french class, so give it a few days.  
As always, reviews motivate me, so feel free to leave me proof that I dont totally suck :)**


	4. Reflecting

**A/N: Hey Guys.  
Okay. I know this is kinda short. But I was fiddling around with the idea of a Hitsu POV. So when it was suggested, I decided to run with it. I don't think it'll become a regular occurrence in the story. I just wanted to drabble. Plus we get a little more insight into his personality.  
So here it is.  
A short reflection, courtesy of Shiro.**

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I look down at her sleeping form. I see her face unlined and free of stress for the first time in a long while. She seems so peaceful and innocent, it makes my heart ache. With her pink lips slightly parted, long brown hair undone from its bun and fanned out around her, I can't imagine anyone wanting to hurt her. But those dark rings under her eyes and the troubled set to her mouth tell a different story.

I grit my teeth slowly, seething. Aizen. Every bone in my body longs to hunt that man down and make him pay for what he did to Momo. What he's still doing to her, even though he's not directly involved in her life anymore.

Thank god for that.

She mumbles something in her sleep and her frown becomes more pronounced. She shifts around uncomfortably and I automatically move to adjust her covers around her. As I pull them to her shoulders, my hands linger around her injured hand. It took me nearly a quarter hour to bandage them, as she insisted on squirming around and being difficult. Even though she was unconscious. Typical Momo.

I lean back against the wall, watching her. The steady rise and fall of her chest soothes my overwrought nerves. She's always been able to do this. So involuntarily too. With just a smile or endearingly angry pout, Momo can wipe away my unhappiness. I don't understand it. She's so ridiculous. So innocent. So optimistic. So pure. Everything I'm not.

Why is it that all I want to do is make her happy? Why does she never fail to top my list of priorities, no matter the situation? I don't understand. I honestly can't justify my actions when she's involved.

I reach out without thinking and touch the back of my hand to her temple. Slowly, I run it down the length of her cheek. She leans into my hand. I feel my eyes widen and my breath catch. She never fails to astound me with her ability to trust so easily. So completely.

I swallow convulsively. My earlier anger and resentment is all but gone. I've always had such careful control over my emotions. But there are some things I have no control over. Like my appearence. I hate how I'm so small. So vulnerable. Every time I'm confronted with a comment concerning the fact I look like an elementary school student, a little part of me dies. I'll never be taken seriously physically. So I have to regulate my emotions. I have to be mature. I have to be respected. Feared. I've strived to realize my ambitions. And they weren't in vain. I'm a Captain now. I've achieved everything I've ever wanted. So why are my emotions betraying me? Why do I seem to have no control anymore?

But it's Momo.

She knows me so well. She's the only person who understands me. Even when I don't understand myself. Maybe if I told her...

No.

She's still numb from what happened with Aizen. Perhaps she still holds onto some feelings for her ex Captain. Which is ridiculous considering what he did. But Momo's such a passionate girl. Prone to feeling things more intensely than she should. For now though, the best thing I can do is keep these words to myself. For her sake.

I stand up, exhaling slowly. After one last look at her peaceful form, I walk soberly from the room.

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**I hope you liked it! Ugh again, it's so short. Sorry, sorry!  
I dunno how long it'll take for the next real chapter up. It's the end of the school year, so things are getting pretty stressful and crazy. I'll try to do my best though!  
Anyways, thanks for reading ;)**


	5. Civilized society?

**Hey guys!  
I know it's taken me forever to get this chapter up. To be completely honest, I only started it yesterday. It took me a while to decide upon the direction the story should take. Weird stuff is going on. The characters are starting to get a mind of their darned own. I don't have control over their actions, at this point.  
Yeah, we're back to Momo POV.  
Oh and thanks for the reviews. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy :)**

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"Ugh"

My temples throb painfully as I stir from my lovely nap. Okay, not so much a nap as a near comatose state. How long had I been out? I will my eyes to open, but they protest. God, I haven't felt this awful since the morning after the Vice-Captains informal dinner. The one organized by Rangiku. Hmmm. That's probably why. Figures it's taken me this long to connect the dots on that one. But to the best of my knowledge, I don't think there's any sake in my system. Did I have some before I went to bed last night?

I roll groggily onto my side, and jump with a start as my hand numbs with the white hot burn of pain. Everything comes flooding back to me: my hasty release from the 4th division headquarters, destroying my pretty glass mirror with my poor fist, Shiro-chan's sudden reappearance in my life. Shiro-chan! Is he still here? And why in the world does my torso feel like it weighs an extra 70lbs? Time to get some answers.

With an immense amount of effort, I drag myself into a sitting position. A loud crash and an irritated wave of cursing erupts from my bedside floor.

"Hey!" An annoyed voice complains from the ground "What'd you do that for? I was just getting comfortable."

I peer over the bedside. Covered in the remains of what I can only assume are a half eaten rice ball and glass of sake, a pretty strawberry headed woman glares up at me. Well speak of the devil. Or err...think of her?

"Rangiku?"

"Oh Momo," Jumping to her feet, Rangiku wraps her sticky arms around me "I'm so glad they finally came to their senses and let you go! I mean, come on. You're tougher than most _Captains_. How could Commander Yamamoto possibly believe you're unstable?"

I tuck the proof of my instability further under the blankets. Wincing in pain, I hastily change the subject. "It's nice to see you too. But why exactly are you here? Doesn't Hitsugaya get angry when you neglect your paper work?"

"Oh that spazz of a Captain has other priorities at the moment. Mr Huffy-Pants disappeared this morning, without a proper explanation. Said he'd be gone all day, and that I was to watch you. Which is what I was doing until you knocked me onto the floor!"

Rangiku's mouth twists into a pout and she looks down at me sadly with her big blue eyes. I raise a questioning eyebrow.

"I'm pretty sure I didn't."

"Yes, yes you did! I was just minding my own business, using your comfy belly as a footrest. I even found this neat way of folding the blanket into a cup holder..."

I sigh, exasperated by her already. Don't get me wrong, I love Rangiku. She's one of my closest friends and I don't know what I'd do without her. I remember that one time where the two of us organized a birthday surprise for Shiro-chan. He was so shocked when those fireworks started to light up the wintery night sky. It was so cold; we were all bundled up in our scarves and mittens. But just perfect. Rangiku was playing the cheerful hostess. Shiro-chan and his eyes Just sparkling with joy! Chills were beginning to rake over my small body, but then Aizen slipped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. I was so happy...

"...'And make sure she eats a full breakfast and checks in with her third seat'. Is he the voice of nag, or what? Honestly, who does he think I am? Your babysitter? I'm just popping in to help you get back into the loop! You hardly need a nanny." Rangku's endless droning pulls me out of my reverie. Probably for the best. I can't allow myself to think of that horrible man like that again.

I open my mouth to ask the question that has been burning at the back of my throat since I woke up. _Where was Shiro-chan?_ It seemed like things had been going really perfectly last night! Well, up until I passed out. Technicalities, right? I would have woken up eventually! Why couldn't he have waited?

Delayed by my internal dispute, I don't have the chance to ask anything more. Rangiku takes my momentary silence as encouragement to continue. "He thinks I'm soo irresponsible. Like I need written instructions every time I leave the office! Anyways, he's definitely right in this case. You look like you haven't had a decent meal in weeks. Let's go get something to eat."

Before I can protest, I'm being forcibly hauled from my mat. Rangiku drags me to my closet, and selects a garment at random. Pushing me behind my lattice screen, she shouts, "Hurry up! You know Renji; it's eat or be eaten with that kid. If we get to breakfast too late, everything good will have already been devoured by him."

Accepting defeat, I turn my attention to Rangiku's rushed selection.

"A summer kimono! That's hardly professional! I'm trying to show everyone how mature and well recovered I am. Let me wear my Shihakusho."

"It'll be hardly necessary. You need a couple of days to relax, so I doubt anyone'll be letting you near paper work or the training grounds."

I fight the urge to whine. This is so unfair. I'm not as fragile as everyone thinks I am! But there's little use in arguing with Rangiku; she's probably got explicit instruction from Shiro-chan not to take no for an answer. I grudgingly pull on the kimono.

Rangiku's eyes light up as I step from behind the screen. "God I wish I were that skinny. You look great!" With a final nod of approval, she pulls me confidently out the door.

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I push the remainder of my onigiri around on my plate. I watch as Rangiku sticks out her tongue at an obviously displeased Ikkaku. She turns her head to address Renji, and Ikkaku's eyes take on an impish glint. Uh oh. This who-can-drive-the-other-person-insane-first competition had been going on since we got here. Probably before that, considering the intensity of their newfound rivalry. I had just witnessed Rangiku spice up an oblivious Ikkaku's cheese omelette large amounts of wasabi. The result hadn't been pretty.

Finding their behaviour verging on ridiculous, I turn my head away. I'm well aware I'm being a killjoy; embodying the spirit of a sixty year old spinster. Maybe I've just been in such a horrid mood because Shiro-chan's mysterious disappearance this morning. Exhaling loudly, I search for a distraction and find an unusually quiet Izuru staring at me from across the table. I cock my head to the side in an unasked question. Bit by bit, color creeps up into his typically pale cheeks. As my eyes meet his, he turns away in embarrassment. That's strange. Shrugging it off, I find my attention is once more captured by Ikkaku.

As he studies the back of Rangiku's shiny red blonde head, an odd expression fixes on his face. I watch in confusion, a bad feeling twisting my stomach into nervous knots. Slowly, he reaches down and lifts his zankpakuto quietly from its sheath. In one quick movement, he snips off her gorgeous, cascading ponytail and it falls unceremoniously to the floor. I stare in utter astonishment. I can't help but reach up and touch my own hair, safely tucked away in its blue bun. Oh my. This must be crossing the line, I'm sure.

I stand up. Getting out of here before Rangiku notices is definitely within my best interest. My stealthily attempted getaway unfortunately pulls the attention of a still oblivious Rangiku.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Away from the scene of an upcoming battle. "To the washroom."

Apparently satisfied, she turns back to her conversation with a sheepish Renji. Looks like she's the only one who doesn't know about Ikkaku's little practical joke. It's all I can do not to run from the room at this point.

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I step outside, using my hand to block against the sun's harsh rays. With divisions milling around aimlessly, or going about their daily business, it's almost as if everything's back to normal. But I'm not delusional. I know it's not. Probably never will be. I'm changed now. I reach up with my bandaged hand and touch my sunken cheek. On the outside, visibly of course. But on the inside too. I know that now, for the first time since that fateful day when Aizen decided to run me through with his zanpakuto. I used to laugh at Rangiku's and Ikkaku's silliness. It used to brighten my day, relieve the stress that being a Vice-Captain brings into my life. But now, I'm not so sure. I can't find a way to stomach their happiness. I know I'm being awful. But I see them, their lives simple and uncomplicated, and I'm just so envious.

I continue my steady progress towards the 5th division headquarters. All around me, shinigami raise their hands in greeting. Some greet me warmly, politely asking about my health.

Mental health, I bet.

I can't help but wonder what kind of rumours were spread, regarding my extended absence. None of their concern is sincere, I know that at least. They're just afraid I've been driven mad by Aizen's betrayal.

Lost in thought, I fail to notice Izuru calling my name.

"Momo! Wait!"

What does he want? I stop and watch as he pants his way to my side.

"I...need...to...talk to...you..." Izuru informs me, still breathing heavily.

"I've gathered as much."

"So uhh, what's up! You look amazing." His gaze takes in my small form. It hovers a second too long on my bust, where the fabric of my kimono stretches taut. Hello? My face is up here! What's the matter with him today?

"Oh thanks." This is so alarming. "I'm just on my way to check in with my division. You know, they've been unsupervised for a while now. So maybe I can catch up with you later..."

Take the hint, Take the hint. I quicken my pace, hoping to dissuade any further attempts at conversation. No such luck. I feel his sweaty palm grip my arm and spin me around to face him. I'm shocked by his use of such blatant force. This isn't the timid Izuru I remember.

"Momo I'm serious," His breathing continues to intensify. "I've got something to say that you need to hear."

I try to pull away. He's stronger than I remember, too. I can't escape his grip.

"Izuru, let go! You're hurting me." And scaring me.

Unblinking his eyes take on a terrifying intensity.

"Momo. I love you."

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**Yikes. Sucks for Momo.  
Hope you liked it~!  
Please continue reviewing! I love reading comments and suggestions.**

**Oh, haha shoot. I just noticed this now: before I said Momo slept on a mat, but in this it's a bed. My bad. Sorry!**


	6. Indecisive

**Hey! How are you guys?  
Exams are closing in on me fast. And what am I doing? Why writing fanfic, of course! Not studying, oh no. Because that would be mature and responsible. Where is my work ethic? I'll regret this in the future, I'm sure. But for now, here it is! The new chapter! Why do I always end up taking so long to update? Lots of pondering. In French class.  
Okay so I won't say anymore. Read on!  
Oh and review :)  
Because you love me.**

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Wait, what?

"Get off me!" With a swift kick to Izuru's shin, I take the opportunity to quickly back away. I rub my bruised arm, glaring at him in annoyance. His eyes no longer embody the friendly shine they once did. Bloodshot and puffy, he wipes at them with his sleeve.

"Momo, don't push me away. I need you, and you need me. I'm tired of the fear of rejection keeping me from being truly happy. I'm not scared anymore! Just love me the way I love you!"

"Are you completely insane?" I don't understand him. Where is this all coming from?

"Stop saying that! Just listen to me! Don't you want your life to have meaning again? To be with someone who understands you? I've been through the same things you have! Betrayal, abandonment, neglection!"

His words touch me, oddly enough. Though his behaviour is rash, his words aren't without reason. Did I have any reason to exist anymore? I had built my entire life around my captain! Designed it so as to cater to his every need. Now what am I left with? Just myself? I have no purpose. I've preserved no dignity. No one respects me simply as the 5th division's lieutenant. I was always valued as Aizen's right hand.

I feel so alone.

But then there's Izuru.

He's been through the same hell as I have. Ichimaru manipulated him into doing his evil deeds, and then left him to pursue Aizen. So he's probably the only person who even comes close to understand the pain I felt. That I still feel! I thought Izuru was handling the whole ordeal way better than me, though. But looking at him now, his face stricken and desperate, I can't help but think he's just been bottling up his misery and putting on a happy face. Well obviously that wasn't a good idea. He looks like he does need someone to help lift his pain, though. I don't think he'd ever hurt me either, since he knows what it feels like to lose everything.

"You'd never hurt me," I question his resolve "You'd help me get back onto my feet? We could do it together, couldn't we?"

His face goes from pure desolation to pure _ecstasy_ in two seconds flat. I'm surprised he didn't pull a muscle. But he does look so very pleased, so perhaps this is for the best. Strangely, I don't feel the same sense of joy. Not even relief. I close my eyes, trying to picture our lives together. But the image that I meet behind closed eyelids is not that of Izuru. The boy is not a tall, blonde Vice-Captain. No, he's much shorter. And his hair is a spiky, white mess. His eyes are not a sad brown, but a bold turquoise. Instead of seeking my acceptance and approval, they challenge me. They engage me. I knew with one look that the boy who possessed them would not be an easy match. But all at once I realise that giving Izuru what he desires is not what I want.

As I lift my head up to confess this to him, and find his face less than an inch away. Taking my hands in his own, he smiles down at me, blissfully unaware of my feelings. Or lack thereof.

Well better sooner than later. "Izuru, this is wrong. You don't love me. You only love the idea of me. You need someone who you can relate to, and won't look at you with pity. So you've naturally turned to me. I've been through the same horrible experience as you have. I know this seems like it would solve all our problems. But you deserve better than me. We're both so broken, that it'd be folly for us to be with each other. It wouldn't fix anything! So please, I can be there for you but only as a friend."

With an apologetic shrug, I attempt to pry my hands from his. But he isn't about to give up without a fight. His grip tightens at once, and I find myself once more at his mercy. This boy is nothing if not persistent.

"No! I know you were just about to accept my advances! What happened?! No, no!" He shakes his head from side to side in anger. Gradually, his expression changes. His rage subsides into a calm understanding. "You're just playing hard to get aren't you? You like it when I have to use force, don't you? Don't you? Silly Momo!"

Oh my.

"Izuru, I'm honestly not playing around!" I'm starting to get a little worried now. I look anxiously over my shoulder for someone, anyone who could possibly save me. No one in sight, except for a timid 4th division running purposefully in the opposite direction. Just my luck. I consider my options:

A) _Further attempts at reasoning with the potentially insane?_

This is not appealing. My recent efforts have been in vain, to say the very least. He doesn't seem willing to listen to reason. Reality check! YOU'RE DELUSIONAL.

B) _Fight him?_

Yes. With Tobiume, it'd be a pretty close fight. My kido skills are far superior. One wrong move on his part, and I could buy enough time to high tail it out of here. But I am just recovering. It wouldn't be wise to take the chance, when I can't even find the strength to wiggle from his grasp.

C) _Scream bloody murder and hope someone hears?_

The least dignified of my choices. Possibly my best shot. I've got a good, strong shriek. Piercing, even. I won't be able to show my face around here for a while, but at least I'll be free of him. Yes I like that. I seem to be losing circulation in my left hand, and there'll always be time to regain my honour.

I inhale deeply, ready to burst a few eardrums. This becomes immediately unnecessary. The next thing I know, Izuru is smashing into the western facing wall and, finally free from his hold, I tumble to the ground helplessly. I look up in confusion, and see a figure crouched before me in a defensive stance. The instant recognition isn't a result of his unique appearance, but the way in which he stood there. So agitated and apprehensive.

Without turning his attention from Izuru's motionless form, his concerned voice fills my ears.

"Are you alright?"

A heart stopping sense of relief overwhelms me. I'm glad I'm not standing, as I'd surely sink to my feet.

"I'm fine," I won't tell him about my hand, which I'm pretty sure is leaking blood through the bandages. Despite my fierce attempts, bitterness colors my words. "What are you doing here? I thought Rangiku said you'd be gone all day."

At this, Shiro-chan turns to face me. He crosses his arms and shrugs indifferently. "I finished what needed to be done."

Forgetting about Izuru at once, my natural need to be difficult surfaces. "Yeah well I was handling things just fine here, without your help. But thanks for caring. Thanks so much."

I can almost taste the sarcasm. And what in the world am I saying? I can't handle things! That's just my sense of pride speaking on behalf of me. Irrationally, of course. But I cross my arms and look away in defiance. I hope he leaves. I hope ninjas abduct him and send him to a labour camp where he'll be sold into slavery, and I'll buy him and make him do menial tasks and wear a tight, cute uniform. Wait, what? Oh god. What's wrong with me? Shut up, brain.

With an exasperated sigh he lowers himself onto his knees. At eye level, I can't avoid his piercing look. Tilting his head to the side, he wonders aloud.

"What's bothering you? I know that tone all too well."

Sure you do. I open my mouth, a blistering retort on the tip of my tongue when a loud crash sounds from over Shiro-chan's shoulder. We both jump at the sound. Struggling to his feet is a dusty, but seemingly unharmed Izuru.

Shiro-chan makes an unhappy grunting sound at the back of his throat and resumes his protective stance in front of me. Izuru is untroubled by this and begins to walk slowly towards us. I can almost feel Shiro-chan tense with unease. He grips the pommel of his zanpakuto firmly in his right hand and address Izuru for the first time.

"I'm not sure what your full intentions are Izuru. But I have a feeling Momo isn't keen on returning any affections you seem determined to force upon her. I don't want to hurt you, but if you continue to threaten her wellbeing, I'll have to stop you. Physically."

Unperturbed by this, Izuru continues to stride decisively towards him. I gulp hard, my heart thumping loudly in my chest. They wouldn't actually fight, would they? As much as I disapproved of Izuru's recent behaviour, I'd seen what Shiro-chan could do to an enemy and I would never wish that upon him.

Unblinking, he regards Shiro-chan in the same cold manner. "I'm sorry to have to do this, Captain Hitsugaya. But you leave me with no choice."

Stopping not 10 yards from where we stand, Izuru straightens. He pulls his zanpakuto from his side and closes his eyes in concentration.

"Raise your head, Wabisuke!"

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**Dun dun dun.  
Now it's getting intense, right?  
Hope you liked it!  
Thanks for reading.**

**PS. REVIEW!!!**

**PPS. I proof read this at like, midnight. So I'm really sorry if there are stupid spelling/grammar mistakes. They REALLY irks me. So take my word for it when I say they're completely unintentional.**


	7. Confrontations

**Hiya~!  
I really, really hated writing this chapter. I don't know what it is about fight scenes, but for some reason they're so much harder to write than the normal stuff. Which is why this sucks. A lot. Izuru is also getting a little bit scary. Not that he wasn't before. Because he totally was. But he's getting progressively worse. I'm sorry to any Kira fans I'm pissing off! He just seems like the perfect person to have a previously suppressed dark, twisty side. Don't you think?  
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Shiro-chan stumbles back in shock.

"You dare draw your weapon against a Captain?" He exclaims. I feel my mouth hanging agape, but make no effort to close it. Izuru's actions before this point weren't exactly the brightest, but at least he wasn't breaking Soul Society rules. Even worse, I know the fight between the two wouldn't be fair! Shiro-chan would completely obliterate Izuru, without a doubt.

I struggle to my feet, cradling my injured arm. "Izuru, don't be a fool. Not only could you be demoted and stripped of your responsibilities, but you could also get seriously hurt. Please, put down your weapon." Come on, you must listen to reason.

"Now you care about my wellbeing, dear Momo?" Izuru cocks his head to the side in mock confusion. "Just a second ago, you were spurning my love and begging me to leave you alone." Visibly agitated, he takes an angry step in my direction. I stager in the opposite direction, but my fear is unnecessary.

"You won't lay a hand on her," Shiro-chan cries as he leaps in front of me, shielding me with his body. "If you take one more step, I'll have to use physical force to subdue you." He draws his zanpakuto, and my breath catches. Will he really try and kill Izuru? But my panic quickly subsides, as he does not release it. Izuru appears unaffected by this show of defence; his lips tense into a harsh line and he sends a look of pure venom our way. Oh, if looks could kill...

With a taunting smile, Izuru takes one large stride towards us.

"Sit upon the frozen heavens, Hyorinmaru!" Shiro-chan releases his zanpakuto and his small figure blurs before my eyes. Just as suddenly, he disappears. Looking left and right for his little white head, I notice Izuru is missing as well. Where did they go? I'm so exhausted; I can't even follow basic flash step. Swords clash from above, and a wave of reiatsu sends me crashing to the ground again. Second time in five minutes! I really need to start training again, I'm so weak.

Rubbing my sore behind, I tilt my chin up and search the skies for movement. There is none. I hear explosions to my left, and find the two shinigami with their swords locked. Izuru's lips twist into an amused grin and he pulls away. Why? This makes no sense. Physically, he's probably stronger than Shiro-chan, so why would he abandon his momentary advantage? Shiro-chan holds his zanpakuto up high, ready for the next attack. Gradually, his face contorts in pain and I resist the urge to run to him and offer my help. But I would probably do more harm than good.

Realisation touches Shiro-chans features as his grip on Hyonrinmaru continues to weaken. With each passing second, it becomes harder and harder for him to keep it above the ground. "I should have known."

Should have known what? Why am I always the last to figure these things out?

Most probably to humour me, Izuru elaborates. "You're aware of Wabisuke's special ability, Captain Hitsugaya. With each strike, it doubles the weight of whatever it touches. By now, your zanpakuto should weigh about 470lbs. I'm surprised you're still on your feet. Very admirable."

Oh no, no! I completely forgot about Izuru's shikai. I cannot believe this is happening. As much as I hate admitting it, Shiro-chan is a _Captain_. He can't possibly be losing to a lieutenant, can he?

Still struggling with his heavy zanpakuto, Shiro-chan only manages a grunt in response. Izuru approaches him calmly, and leans down to whisper something in his ear. Words of farewell? He touches Wabisuke once more to Hyorinmaru, and with a moan of defeat, Shiro-chan collapses. Lifting his sword above him, Izuru prepares to deal out one final blow.

Not if I can help it.

Faster than I thought possible, I'm at Shiro-chan's side. I brace myself for the horrible sound of Wabisuke cutting in Shiro-chan's skin. But instead I find myself holding strong to my own zankpakuto, blocking the attack. I honestly didn't think I'd be quick enough. Don't fail me now, Tobiume.

"Well, well. You think you can really face me in your condition? How noble, to try and save your best friend." Izuru raises an eyebrow, obviously amused at my desperate rescue attempt. I grind my teeth, seething in a mixture of fury and resentment. When did he become so heartless? This is certainly not the Izuru I thought I knew. I may be in the process of recovering, but that doesn't mean I can't kick his scrawny butt. Even if Shiro-chan couldn't. People should stop underestimating me.

Tobiume suddenly drops like a rock. Despite my best efforts, I keel over slightly under the immense weight. Damn, that's unfair. I won't bow my head to the likes of Izuru, though. Even if he was my friend. I can feel my arms quivering, but with a newfound resolve, I manage to lift my zanpakuto once more. That's just fine, Izuru. You may be my superior physically, but I still have skills you surely can't match.

I sheath Tobiume and take a deep breath. Izuru looks on in confusion, but a small smile crosses Shiro-chan's face. He knows very well what I'm about to do. I square my feet, and hold my hands straight out before me, right palm braced against the back of my left.

"Hado 33, Sokatsui." I murmur, forgoing the long incantation. I know the strength of my attack will be greatly decreased, but I don't wish to harm Izuru. Only stop him.

An enormous blast of blue spiritual power erupts from the palm of my left hand, encompassing a completely astonished Izuru. As he flies backwards through the air, I can't help but be reminded of the hapless cloth dummies we used to train with back at the Academy. He didn't think I'd have energy for that kind of attack, I gather. Everyone thinks I'm out of practice, but the truth of the matter is Kido is part of who I am. A part that doesn't fade with time.

He lands in a rumpled heap several yards back. At first, I think I've knocked him out cold. But somehow he finds the strength to pull himself to his feet. Standing there, wobbling slightly and leaning on his zanpakuto, he's hardly a threat. The combined damage inflicted by mine and Shiro-chan's attacks have left him exhausted and visibly wounded. A trail of blood leaks down from a deep gash on his forehead and a large, discoloured bruise is beginning to form on his left cheek.

I narrow my eyes, irritated by the force of his determination. Though I begin gathering inner strength for another spell, it soon becomes clear that it's unnecessary.

"Relax, there's no need for any more Kido. Any further attacks would be simply excessive. It seems as though you've won your battle." Izuru smile is full of pure malice. "For today." With a wink that sends chills rushing down my spine, he vanishes.

I exhale, a long release. Sinking to the ground beside Shiro-chan, I realise how tired I actually am. I doubt I would have been able to successfully execute another spell. Luck must be on our side, or else we'd be at Izuru's mercy right now. Glancing beside me, I note that Shiro-chan's back on his feet. He dusts himself off and fixes his haori. God he's meticulous. And he doesn't meet my eye, which I find exceedingly strange.

The silence becomes too much for me. "You're very welcome!" I joke, hoping to lighten the mood. "How does it feel? Being saved by a girl! Oh, I'll use this one against you in the future, mark my words. A big, mean Captain gets rescued by a lowly Lieutenant. The Shinigami Woman's Society will get a kick out of this one! They'll just roll on the floor with laughter."

My rant is short lived; Shiro-chan doesn't seem to be paying much attention. It's no fun to make jokes at his expense if he's not listening. He makes me so angry sometimes! Oh, that reminds me of something I've been meaning to bother him about.

"Why didn't you stay last night?" I stick my bottom lip out, pouting. I'm such a baby sometimes, and it kills me. "You promised you would. But then I got stuck with Rangiku! I had to watch her and Ikkaku play these awful practical jok--"

Shiro-chan cuts me off. "I had important things to attend to." He reminds me. His voice is so cold and emotionless. Looking down at me, with those harsh turquoise eyes of his, I can't help but cower. Seeing my unhappy expression and probably pathetic demeanour, his expression softens and he extends his hand down towards me. I stick my tongue out at him and cross my arms over my chest. Does he really think I'll comply? His gestures just scream false sincerity. I don't need his help. Ignoring his hand, I begin to push myself up, using Tobiume as a crutch.

I am independent.

I am self sufficient.

I am—

My arms give out before I'm even three feet off the ground. Curse my exhausted arms. Shutting my eyes tightly, I prepare myself for the inevitable impact of the hard concrete. It doesn't come. I feel strong arms catch me around my waist and shoulders. I blink and find Shiro-chan rolling his eyes at me. They are no longer tinged with cold indifference. His thoroughly arresting gaze is filled with a mocking contempt, and if it could speak I'm sure it'd say, "I told you so." But there is also something else there, hidden but not undetectable. A strange look that I can't seem to place...

"Don't be so difficult," Shiro-chan breathes into my ear. "Everyone needs help sometimes. Even big, mean Captains like me." So he _was_ listening then.

He scoops me up off my feet and into his arms. The inane need to test his resolve wins over the sheer pleasure I feel by having his arms around me. I begin to struggle. Kicking my feet out violently, I expect him to give up and drop me. But he holds tight. After several ineffective moments of wild thrashing, I'm the one who gives in. I'm too tired for this kind of effort.

Satisfied that I won't be putting up another fight any time soon, he swings me up onto his back. I hook my legs between his arms and wind my grip around his neck. Resting my chin against his shoulder, I enjoy the gentle rhythm of his sandals clapping on the pavement as he makes his way towards the 5th division headquarters.

"Thank you, Shiro-chan."

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**It's summer vacation! Finally!  
Meaning I'll most probably be finding more time to write. But I need to get through exams first, so I don't think I'll have a chance to update anytime soon. I'm really sorry, but it'll be at least a couple of weeks until the next chapter goes up.  
But I promise the wait will be worth it!!  
As always, thanks for reading!  
Please review ;)**


	8. Realization

**Hey guys!  
I hope no one forgot about my story! It's been a while since I updated, I know. But so much has happened in the past couple of weeks. Actually, just exams and prom. Unsurprisingly, I failed math. I guess numbers just aren't my thing. I also did really badly on my English exam. All I had to do was write a short story! What the heck? Irony at it's worse, no doubt about it.  
Right. Well here you go. It's kind of SUPER FLUFF. Just rereading it made me all, "WTF is wrong with mee?" But come on, it's Momo and Shiro.  
I can't help myself ;)**

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I'm nearly asleep by the time we reach my room. But as Shiro-chan drops me unceremoniously onto my mat, I'm suddenly wide awake. Crossing my legs underneath me, I watch as he begins to tidy up. The irony doesn't escape me. I'm older than this boy, and yet he insists on babying me.

"Shiro-chaannn!" I complain, balling my fists in frustration as he dampens a rag at the sink. "Stop it. I'm perfectly capable of doing that myself. I just don't want to right now."

Ignoring me, he bends to wipe up the sticky residue of Rangiku's spilled sake. The events of this morning have been completely overshadowed by Izuru's startling behaviour. I wonder how she reacted when she found out her hair no longer extends past her shoulders...

An irritated grumble escapes me. Shiro-chan _still_ won't look at me. He must have been lying when he said he wasn't angry. Convinced his passive aggressive nature is to blame for this detached mood, I grab his arm and pry the cloth from his hands.

I drop the rag, and look up at him. I feel my frown become more pronounced. "I really am sorry for everything. I know I keep causing trouble for you."

Shiro-chan seems to struggle with himself for a moment. Finally he sighs, and sinks to the floor beside me. The fact that less than two feet now separate us doesn't escape me.

"It's not that." He squirms uncomfortably, still averting his eyes. This is strange. I've never seen Shiro-chan act this way. His usual composure is noticeably faltering. "I'm just trying to keep my mind off of what just happened."

Join the club. "Yeah, so am I. But I mean, it's not that bad!" I smile shakily, despite the sombre atmosphere of our conversation. I can usually pacify him when he's like this. "We both know worse has happened. Guess I'm just a walking case of bad luck."

Shiro-chan looks up at this comment, his bright eyes narrowed in anger.

Woops. Obviously that struck a nerve.

"You're wrong." He murmurs darkly under his breath, more to himself than me. "Every time something goes wrong or you get hurt just reminds me of how incapable I am of protecting you."

He leans back and once again retreats into himself. I'm so shocked that he thinks this. It takes me a few seconds before I'm ready to answer.

"It's not your job to make sure I'm alright." I breathe uncertainly. "I know you've thought this ever since we were young. Even when I'd trip and get a scrape on my knee, you'd blame yourself for not being there in time to prevent it. As we've gotten older, and more recently with Aizen and Izuru... I think I've become too much of a burden."

I'm aware of what needs to be said now. But I really don't want to say it.

I gulp, hard. "Maybe you should just stay away. I hate to feel like an obligation." It hurts to say this, but I suddenly realise how true it is. Shiro-chan has always enjoyed a challenge. Taking responsibility for my well being has become quite a difficult one. He would never willingly give up, though.

Shiro-chan starts at this, scooting forward and closing the gap between us. Leaning in so close I can almost see my own reflection in his eyes, he tilts his head to the side, puzzled at my blunt suggestion.

"You don't really believe that, do you?" He asks. Is he surprised I finally figured it out?

I can feel his hot breath on my face. It smells of watermelon. A distant memory of the two of us sitting on his front porch eating them and spiting the seeds across the yard fills my mind. It makes my heart lurch.

"Well yes."

Shiro-chan pulls back and pushes himself to his feet. He begins pacing the length of room, all the while wringing his hands and keeping his eyes stubbornly on his feet. Suddenly he comes to a halt, his back to me.

"You're not an obligation, Momo." He shakes his head slowly. I wish I could see his expression. "For so long, I've wish I could find the right words. No, that's wrong. I've always known the right words; I just haven't been able to say them."

I stand, taking an uncertain step towards him. "What—"

Shiro-chan turns to face me, his large eyes vibrant. Yet vaguely unsure.

Closing the distance in two large strides, he takes my pale cheeks in his warm hands. My heart begins to pound so loud, I'm sure he can hear every unsteady beat.

"But I've come to realise I can show you."

Hesitating for only the slightest of seconds, he brings his mouth down to meet mine. I jump in surprise but make no effort to pull away. I close my eyes and it slowly occurs to me how right this feels. How have I never noticed how much I want him?

His kiss deepens and I tangle my fingers in his soft, messy hair. I pull him closer, wishing for nothing more than this moment to last forever.

Eventually Shiro-chan pulls away from our embrace. Breathing deeply, he takes a step back. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

I look at the boy standing before me. His cheeks are flushed from our kiss and though his gaze is full of doubt, I'm sure his yearning is as strong as mine. It dawns on me how this is a side of him I've never seen before. This newfound uncertainty in himself and dependence on another. The fact that I inspire this in him fills me with even more happiness.

I can't hold back a smile.

And this time he doesn't hesitate.

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I'm still awake.

A shiver runs the length of my small body and I pull the sheets more tightly around my shoulders. Sitting up, my eyes are drawn to the open window. I can hear the chirp of a million crickets, just as restless as I am.

Though the sky is full of beautiful, winking stars, it is the moon that captures my attention. So full and bright tonight, it's almost blinding. But I'm thankful for the light.

The boy beside me shifts uneasily in his sleep. His flawless skin shines white, illuminated in the unrestrained glow of the moon. The same color as his hair, almost.

I wish I could make his dreams peaceful as he's made mine.

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**Hope you liked it!  
I'm free of all forms of stress and distraction now. Well, other than my stupid job. But that's only a few days a week, so I hope I'll be able to get the next chapter up quicker than usual.  
Revieeewww :)  
I love hearing feedback!!**


	9. Ice Flower

**Hey guys!  
How's your summer vacation going? I sure hope it's been more exciting than mine. Work, work, work. Gosh I've been tired lately too. I can never sleep anymore. But I guess that's got its benefits, because I've spent many a midnight hour wondering in what direction this story should be going. Well, I've finally decided.  
So read on~!  
And tell me what you think, okay?**

**__________________________________________________________**

I'd like to say it was the pale morning sunlight that woke me up, or perhaps the caress of a gentle breeze. Unfortunately, that's not the case.

"Momooo," A voice whines from the doorway, accompanied by a persistent series of knocks. "Come on, let me in. You know how bored I am on my days off! Let's go shopping! No, no --- out for lunch!"

Lunch already? How late have I slept in?

Still half asleep, I roll over groggily. I struggle to resist the overwhelming urge to pull my pillow over my head and succumb to the appealing prospect of Rangiku free dreams. I choose instead to pull myself into a half sitting position and shake off the last dregs of sleep. In my haste, I nearly crush the small object sitting beside me on my mat.

Confused, I pick up the trinket and examine it more closely. Immediately I'm stricken by its loveliness. Bearing the likeness of small flower, I marvel at the detail in which it was made. Every petal seemed to have been constructed with the utmost care. It shines a pale, opalescent blue in the early afternoon light, and I can't help but wonder at its material. So smooth and delicate. I rub it between my fingers, slowly so as not to scratch it. Cold to the touch. One would almost think it's ice...

Realisation strikes me with such shock, that I almost drop the flower.

_Shiro-chan._

"Let me in," Rangiku persists. I'd nearly forgotten about her. "Momo, you meanie. Do you want to see me cry, is that what you want? Because I will!"

She's so melodramatic. Ignoring her loud complains, I search my room for a note. An explanation for his abrupt absence. After what happened last night, he can't have left so suddenly. No goodbye, no nothing? That's not true, I suppose. I glace at the glass flower, now lying haphazardly on the table. Discarded but certainly not forgotten.

Shaking my head, I decide _I'm _the one who's being overly dramatic. The flower is a charming, unique gift. Running my fingers over its small leaves, I notice the lack of water on the table. Shouldn't it be melting? It _is _made of ice. But no, my hands are dry. How strange.

With a sigh, I take my time dressing. Relishing the time Rangiku spends in anticipation of my tardy welcome, I pin my hair back into its usual bun. I notice how healthy and soft it's starting to become, and can hardly keep a smile off my face. It's good to start feeling like myself again!

Finally, I can delay it no longer. Dropping my icy present into my pocket and sending out a silent prayer that it doesn't get crushed, I pull open the door. Rangiku, who had evidently opted to leaning on the door instead of pounding its poor wood endlessly, tumbles awkwardly into the room. Her hair is fashioned into a sleek bob, I notice. Makes it seem as though Ikaku's heartless prank is more of a gift than a curse.

"My little lieutenant buddy," Rangiku murmurs as she pats my head affectionately. Do I look like a cat? I certainly dislike being fondled like one. "I've got news for you. Not just news, gossip!"

Oh joy. I can hardly contain my excitement.

Though I know she can't hear my subconscious sarcasm, I figure she can at least sense my solemn mood. No such luck. Why is it so hard for a girl to be able to mope in peace, these days? Making herself comfortable in my ratty old desk chair, she turns to me. Her face is alive with the anticipation of sharing a scandalous secret.

"You know how things are so chaotic right now?" Rangiku begins, her tone taking on serious edge. "Because we've got three squads without proper Captains, and that whole Aizen thing going on in the real world."

I give an unenthusiastic nod. "Yeah, I've noticed."

"Well Commander-General Yamamoto has decided it's been long enough. Apparently, he's found someone good enough to take over as a new Captain for one of the squads! I'm not sure who she is, but I hear she's really something..."

It's as if time has stopped altogether. A new Captain? What squad would she be overtaking? A chill runs the length of my spine and a horrible notion occurs to me. Would it be the 5th squad? I know my competency has been harshly undermined lately. But would they really expect me to put my full trust and devotion into another Captain so soon?

"...meeting her, so that's why I'm even stuck in this boring situation. Without Captain Hitsugaya to order me around, I just don't know what to do with myself! I mean, I love having these days to myself an—"

"What did you say?" I ask, effectively cutting her off. "All the Captains are meeting with her now?"

"That's right."

So that explains his hasty exit this morning. He isn't embarrassed about what happened, nor does he regret it, I'm sure. He just had another obligation. Hugely relieved, I decide to give Rangiku my full attention now.

I bite nervously at my thumbnail. "What do you think she's like?"

"Who knows?" Rangiku throws up her arms in annoyance. "I hate not knowing! We're lieutenants, shouldn't we have the privilege of meeting her along with our Captains? It's not fair!"

"Oh, by the way," I ask, hoping I sound casual. "Do you know which squad she'll be leading?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the 9th. I overheard Hisagi getting all giddy over the prospect of having a new girl in his life. Fat chance she'll give him the time of day!"

Once again, I feel as though the world's been lifted from my shoulders. How many more breaks am I going to get before my luck runs out? I guess I should count my blessings. Maybe things are finally going to change for the better now.

"HEY!" Rangiku exclaims, startling me out of my thoughts. "I know what we should do!"

Uh oh.

"How about we go and do a little reconnaissance of our own? Think of it as a personal mission."

She's trying to persuade me, because she believes I'm morally against such a blatant breach of ethics. But she's wrong.

"That sounds..." I take a deep breath and smile broadly. "Fantastic"

Rangiku, who had been eyeing me warily the whole time, jumps to her feet happily at the sound of these words. Wasting no time, and probably afraid I'd change my mind; she pulls me to my feet and out the door.

"Then let's get a move on!"

________________________________________________

Sleuthing is not easy. Especially when you're trying to mask your reitsu, while hiding alongside a girl who's about as subtle as a hallow attack. Lying flat on our stomachs, we gaze out from under our ingenious hiding spot. A large bush.

"Quit fidgeting or they'll see us for sure." I hiss.

This only sets her off. "I can't see anything! Why won't they move?"

As if obliging her, the crowd of Shinigami slowly begins to dissipate. Captain Kyoraku and Captain Ukitake walk so near to where we lay, I'm certain we'll be discovered any second. But to my immense relief, they continue on without so much as a glance in our direction.

Wiping the anxious sweat from my brow, I feel a sharp pinch on my arm. "What'd you do that for—"

"Shhhh," Rangiku whispers, and points. "There she is"

Standing before us, flanked on both sides Captain Unohana and Captain Kuchiki, stands a young girl in a haori. Her long blonde hair is secured in tight pony tail and a pale pink headband pulls back her bangs from her lovely face. Her perfectly tan skin and slim, athletic body make me violently aware of how meek, and frail I must look in comparison. With those high cheekbones and rosy cheeks of hers, she looks as though she belongs more in the pages of a magazine then standing among us Shinigami.

"Yikes," Rangiku mumbles after several moments of silence. "She looks no older than you, Momo. She must be something, for Commander-General Yamamoto to pluck her from obscurity and appoint her Captain, like that."

I can only nod, finding it impossible to respond to such a statement.

"And wow," She continues. "Just look at those eyes!"

My gaze returns once more to her flawless face. Beneath a layer of long, dark lashes reside the most unusual eyes. Matching perfectly to her cotton headband, their pale pink color is unlike any I've ever seen. My stare doesn't go unnoticed; suddenly I feel her eyes meet mine. It's as though her cold stare has frozen my blood. I'm unable to move even an inch. For a second, I fear she will bring my presence to everyone's attention. But just as quickly as the feeling overwhelmed me; it's over. She releases me and turns back to her pleasant conversation with Captain Unohana.

That was close.

"Rangiku," I pull at her sleeve, desperately trying to capture her attention. "Please, I think we should go. I've seen enough of her."

But as I finish my frantic plea, I discover I haven't.

Waving goodbye to Captain Unohana and Kuchiki, she walks over to where Shiro-chan is sitting. When I say walk, I mean dance. Because with the lithe and grace in which she moves, the movement can be described as nothing less than a dance.

Shiro-chan looks as though he wishes he were somewhere else. I feel a smug sense of pleasure raise within me. Yes, I know where he wishes he were. But as she dances over to him and leans down to whisper something in his ear, my Shiro-chan looks up at her with amused eyes.

_What?_

She says something else, her pony tail shaking animatedly. I desperately wish I could hear what that harpy was saying. Probably something flirtatious and gaudy. As if to prove me point, Shiro-chan frowns and shakes his head. Getting to his feet, he begins to walk away. There you go, you witch. He won't have any of your sad little antics.

Her large, pink eyes fill with anger and resentment as she watches his retreating figure. I'm almost satisfied she's given up, when she smiles and dances after him. Linking her arm through his, she pulls him off down the road. Though he looks less than pleased, Shiro-chan makes no effort to shake her off.

"Well, would you look at that?" Rangiku laughs happily, slapping me on the back. "Looks like my Captain's got himself a little girlfriend."

___________________________________________________________

**Does he, now?  
Little do you know, Rangiku, that she's sitting right beside you!  
Haha~! Okay!  
Now I've done my part, you do yours!  
Comments, comments anyone?**


	10. What a mess

**Hey!  
Now I'm not too sure about this chapter. I don't know how many people are going to like it, because it's pretty vague. There's a bit of a jump happening here, so there may be a bit of confusion. I'm fighting with the difficulties of both speeding things along and explaining them along the way, so bare with me!  
Anyways, please enjoy this latest instalment~  
And I promise to start clarifying things in the coming chapters.**

**_________________________________________________________**

I unleash another ball of pink energy directly at the small figure wobbling slightly before me. Before my attack even makes contact, I've jumped into the air. Half murmuring the words of a Kido spell, I'm already in the process of contemplating my next move. This fight is mine.

"Wow, wow, wow." A voice calls from behind me. Despite myself, I jump in surprise. Moments later, I land on the ground with an audible_ thump_. Chalking it up to how intense my concentration was, I turn to greet a familiar face.

Renjii wags his finger at me, and continues to tut. "What's your problem all of a sudden, huh? Just look at the poor thing. You've sufficiently chewed him up and spit him out, I'd say."

I follow his eyes. My gaze settles on the 5th division's practice dummy, or what remains of it. His two arms are mere splinters of what they used to be, and his head is all but dislodged from the rest of his body. No arguing with Renji's logic. Today, at least.

"Seriously though. It's been like this for at least two months." He continues "I don't get it. When you got out, I thought for sure you'd be having meltdowns daily!"

I narrow my eyes at this. Thanks.

"_But_, you were completely fine. Like nothing had changed. I thought for sure they were overreacting when they cooped you up with Captain Unohana for all those months. Now though, I'm not so sure."

Crossing my arms, I turn my back on him. I can't stand the pity in his eyes. Stupid Renji, he doesn't understand anything. Doesn't know what he's saying.

"Seriously, I want to know what's wrong. You hardly talk to any of us, not even Rangiku! All you do is hang around here, or wall yourself up in your office doing paper work." A whine begins to creep into his voice "All Ikkaku and Rangiku do is play their silly games! Dumb old Yumichika's too busy with his reflection to do anything about it. And Rukia's gone off to the human world, helping Ichigo again. I miss you."

I feel my lips turning up into a smile; despite the scowl I was so keen on holding onto. I can't help it, though. I can't stay mad at Renji. With his serious little rant, inevitably breaking down into a plea by the end. So typical. But he means well. Unfortunately there are some things I'm just not ready to go back to.

"Look, I've just got some stuff to figure out." I feel myself say, a sudden exhaustion shaking my body "Can we talk about this some other time? I think I'm feeling a bit tired."

Confusion contorts Renji's features, as he begins to move towards me. "Yeah you're looking pretty pale. Maybe you should sit down..."

I open my mouth to agree, but a familiar sensation begins to overwhelm me.

_Uh oh, I know what's coming._

"I think I'm gonna---"

This time, I don't even get the chance to finish my sentence before everything goes black.

_____________________________________________________

When I wake up, I figure it's probably early morning. An orangey light filters in through my half open window. Everything in my room sits neat and tidy and I catch Rangiku, furiously scrubbing away at something on the table, within my peripheral vision. Feeling the weight of my eyes on her, she turns and smiles.

"Look whose up!" She observes brightly "And I've got a surprise for you!"

Judging by the smell of freshly baked cookies, I can probably guess what that is. Instead I'm the one who surprises her, by unceremoniously throwing up in the waste bin beside me.

Wrinkling her nose, Rangiku makes a face. "Well if you don't want to have one, you could just say so. Jeeze, everyone's a critic! Anything to get out of eating my cooking."

Moaning, I roll onto my side and curl into a ball.

"Okay, I'll bite." Rangiku says softly, kneeling at my side. "Stomach flu? There's been a bug going around. Captain Unohana's up to her ears in groaning, puking patients."

"I guess so." I mumble. Why won't she go away and leave me to suffer in peace? "I haven't been feeling that great for a while now."

"No kidding! Is that why you've been acting like a social pariah? You embarrassed to toss your cookies in front of your best buds?"

I consider this. Seems as good an excuse as any.

"You caught me," I laugh shakily, hoping she doesn't catch the lie "Been distracting myself with training and paper work, trying to avoid the humiliation of it all."

Rangiku nods, as if this explains everything. "Well I don't figure you should be straining yourself with all that training anymore. You know how long you've been out? 2 days."

I raise my eyebrows in surprise. No wonder I have to pee so badly.

"But it's all good," Rangiku comments, as she settles herself back against the wall "You've had one very worrisome visitor."

I try to arrange my face in what I hope is mild interest. "You don't say."

"Oh yes! Mr Huffmister himself!"

Assuming she means who I think she does, I bite my lip until I can taste the bitter rust of my blood. Revelling in the slow, burning anger that begins to seep under my skin I can't bring myself to say anything I really want to.

"You don't say?"

But even Rangiku isn't that slow. As my façade of pleasant indifference begins to falter, she cocks her head to the side, obviously perplexed. "What's with that look? You don't believe me? I wouldn't make this up."

"Of course not." I run a hand of my tired face, trying to physically soothe my strained nerves.

"Why do you look like you want to kill someone?" She exclaims, not buying into anymore of my crap. "You_ don't _believe me! Well, he was here. I don't think you should be badmouthing him."

Narrowing my eyes, I pull myself into a more upright position. "I didn't even say anything."

"Out loud! But I know what you're thinking. I can _hear _your anger."

I roll my eyes at this.

"Seriously though, when Renji came and told us what had happened, I thought for sure Toshiro was going to smash his face in. Thought he had done this to you. By accident, maybe, but your unconsciousness being his fault nonetheless. He paced this room for hours too! Wouldn't shut up about whether we should call someone from the 4th squad to come down and check you out."

I know I should feel flattered. But all I could think of was all those times in the past two months. Those whispered conversations between him and Captain Witch-Face. The pair of them, walking together to breakfast. How he always seemed to blow me off, saying he was too busy with work to have dinner with me.

"I'm surprised he found the time to a visit to his sick friend!" I explode, ignoring the shrill pitch of my voice "Doesn't have more important things to attend to? More important _people?!" _

Rangiku stares, speechless for once. I close my eyes, soaking in the awkward silence. It's not until I hear the quiet shuffle of feet that something occurs to me. Perhaps it's not my words she's reacting to.

Even without turning, I know who's there.

"I'm glad you're okay, Momo." Whispers the all too familiar voice.

I gulp, too afraid of his expression to be embarrassed by my harsh words. Rangiku, in her usual bold fashion, attempts to salvage the situation.

"Hahahaha," She laughs, uncomfortably, albeit "She wasn't talking about _you, _Captain. No no, my cousin Tateo. He's a naughty little boy, always getting into trouble. Momo, of course, knows him well. Doesn't like him either, obviously! Hahahaha!"

I wince at this thin lie, but silently thank her for trying to help. Fighting my battles for me, as always.

Still with my back to him, I can only imagine his slow nod as he mumbles a hasty reply. "Yes, I see."

Before anyone can say another word, I hear the soft click of the door shutting behind me.

Silence, again. The pale morning light, now stretching across the room, hits a small object sitting high up on my shelf. It winks down at me. A fragile glass flower. Made of ice, yet still completely intact. Defying all reason and belief.

What a mess.

___________________________________________________________

**Well there it is.  
It'll get clearer as the story goes on, I promise.  
Anyways, thanks for reading.  
And I love feedback, good or bad.**


	11. Suspicions

**Hey guys,**

**I'm sooo sorry. It's been ages since I updated. I swear I haven't lost interest or anything! No, no. Completely the opposite! I've been playing with ideas for ages. In my head, though. Cuz my laptop died. Yes, I know, I'm heartbroken too. So I had to wait before I got a chance to write again. Seemed like forever! I mean, school starts next week!  
Anyways, the plot thickens now.  
So read on! I bet no one even read the AN, haha.  
_____________________________________________________**

In one continuous motion, I lift a heaping mound of rice into my mouth and smack Ikkaku smartly on the head with the empty spoon. Shooting me an indignant look, he rubs the small bump on his temple. I regret nothing.

"Well I never." He begins, adopting a scornful, almost mocking tone. "Someone like me, taking abuse from a fat_ girl." _

Immediately, my eyes drop to my barely bulging stomach. I am _not _fat! Even if my Shihakusho were tight fitting, I'd still be considered skinny! Oh God. It can't be obvious yet. No, that's impossible. It's only been a few months since even I found out...

I can only imagine how screwed up my face must look as I attempt to do the mental math. My thinking face has never been that attractive. But I can't use my fingers. Too obvious.

Okay maybe not just a few months. But still. FAT?

Seeing my apparent distress, Rangiku rushes to my aid. "Don't be so rude, cue ball. Or else next time you'll find more than a little wasabi in your omelette" Her eyes glimmer with malice and the promise of a fulfilled threat. If I were Ikkaku, I wouldn't push her any further.

"Not my fault," Ikkaku retaliates, holding his hands up defensively. "She's been shovelling in the food lately like there's no tomorrow. I'm afraid she'll swallow me whole, sooner or later!"

If only he knew. If only they all knew. But I won't say anything yet. I just can't.

"Just because I have a healthy appetite is no reason to make fun of meee!" I groan, my mood suddenly taking a turn for the worst. Too much anxiety, lately. The mood swings are a killer. Gotta get out of here before I burst into tears. Or throw up. Or kill someone.

My chair squeals loudly as I push it back, standing up. Everyone's eyes flicker to me and my hastily attempted exit. I ignore the frown that is gradually becoming more pronounced on Rangiku's face. But her large eyes meet mine and I find myself at their full, unrelenting mercy.

"Momooo," She wails "Don't leave!"

Puppy dog eyes or not, I don't plan on sticking around. Turning my back on her, and hoping she'll forgive me later, I lop out the door.

The sun greets me full force. And as my eyes strain to adjust to the sudden change in brightness, so does something else.

"Oof!"

My face makes contact with some unfortunate bystanders back. Apology sticking to my tongue, I flail my arms wildly, attempting to regain lost balance. Unfortunately, gravity wins the fight and I feel myself begin the painful journey to the concrete. Or so I think.

"Careful there." A voice smirks from above, as hands smoothly catch my elbow.

This day just keeps getting better and better.

I rub the last bit of the indoor's darkness from my eyes and her lovely face comes into full view. Smiling down at me like Madonna herself, one could almost imagine she was being the Good Samaritan, lending a helpful hand.

"Lieutenant Momo, right?" She asks innocently, toying with a tendril of her flaxen hair.

As if you didn't already know. You're not fooling anyone here.

"I've neglected to formally introduce myself." She continues happily. "Which is silly, if you think about it! Considering how long I've already been here." She laughs, a bell tinkling in the breeze.

Get to the point.

Extending her hand pleasantly, she smiles again. "Captain Leiko Tanaka."

I contemplate ignoring the gesture. But technically, I have no proper reason to hate her. Not just yet, at least.

Grudgingly, I reach out to take her hand. But as our palms touch, I'm shaken with a sudden jolt. A dark feeling overwhelms my body, and I desperately try to withdraw from her grasp as the liquid agony pumps through my veins. But it's as if we've been cemented together; an eternity of despair and desolation. The feeling grows with her smile, as she registers the tormented look in my eyes.

But then it's all over.

Releasing my hand, she takes a step back. I wipe the strange cold sweat from my creased brow and watch as she cocks her head to the side, contemplating my expression. Her perfect nose wrinkles in concentration.

"Best not stress too much," Her words drip with false sincerity. "It's not good for someone in your _condition_."

I don't miss the excessive punctuation she uses on the last word.

No, that's impossible. He doesn't even know yet. Nobody does. So how could she?

Turning on her heel, she dances off in the opposite direction. As I watch her retreating figure, a sudden coldness devastates me. The same sense of deep foreboding I felt when we touched, only lessened now. A warning.

___________________________________________________

"I'm not lying or over exaggerating. Leiko's EVIL!"

Rangiku rolls her eyes and readjusts herself more comfortably on the couch. I've been sitting here for over an hour now, trying in vain to convince her that the 9th division's newest captain is the spawn of Satan. But apparently I'm not being realistic. Everyone's a critic.

"Remind me again of your indisputable proof?" Rangiku asks half-heartedly, extending her hand to inspect her flawless nails.

Tut, tut, tut. Always with the details.

"I just have a feeling..." I mumble, more to myself than her.

"A feeling?" She raises one delicate eyebrow and looks up. "If I had to guess as to the real reason, I'd say you had one nasty case of the greenies."

It takes a moment for that one to sink in. But when it hits home, I can't help but jump to my feet in resentment. "Jealousy? You've got to be kidding me!"

"Well come on, she is a knockout. A Captain, too. Seems a little over excessive, if you ask me. Frankly, I don't blame you for feeling the way you do!" She groans, obviously exasperated. Apparently I'm not the only one with a case of the sour grapes. "The attention she gets too! I mean, it's not fair. Though it's not like she cares very much for it. Except if the patron is my own, innocent little Captain."

Ugh, why does she have to remind me?

I stalk across the room, seething. As I reach the desk, I pick up one of the few trinkets sitting on its clean, shiny surface. At first, I mean only to distract myself for a moment. But slowly I begin to examine the object; noting the scaly body, long spiked tail and large sapphire eyes. I smile to myself despite my blackened mood.

A dragon. How appropriate.

"I wouldn't play with that if I were you," Rangiku warns, gazing at me from where she perches on the couch. "You know how he gets when anyone touches his stuff."

Rolling my eyes are her petty complaints, I set the statue back in its place. Ignoring the _make-sure-it's-EXACTLY-where-it-was_ from behind me, I peer out into the oncoming darkness. Whispers on the breeze. I tense automatically, reminding myself of the reality of the situation. This is the last place I should be hanging around, considering my resentment for said anal Captain. But I just can't help it.

"Well at least he'd have an excuse to talk to me, then!" I sob, the tears I'd been holding in since this morning suddenly spilling over and trickling down my cheeks. I wipe at them angrily. Stupid, traitor tears.

Rangiku bolts upright, her eyes wide with confusion. "What are you talking about?"

The last thing I want to do right now is explain myself. Glancing quickly at the door, I wonder if I could possibly make it before she dragged me back to my seat. But considering the extra weight I'd already gained over the past months, and the hard set to Rangiku's jaw, I figure it's not worth the risk.

I sink to the floor; the picture of defeat. How to begin?

"Have you noticed, ever since Captain Leiko's arrival, a change in Hitsugaya's behaviour?"

She scratches at her chin, rolling this thought over in her head. "I suppose, now that you mention it. He does go off a lot, and doesn't usually get in till late. But I figured he was just busy, considering what's going on in the Human World." She immediately bites her lip at this comment, probably afraid she'd offended me. But I shake off the indirect reference to my former Captain.

"No, I don't believe that's the reason."

Rangiku watches my face, noting the moisture still present in my eyes. "This doesn't have to do with Captain Leiko, does it?"

_Chink, Chink. _She's discovered the cracks in my armour.

Feeling the embarrassed flush creeping into my cheeks, I duck my head down before she can take notice of it. She makes it sound so petty, the way I'm acting. But I'm only being realistic!

"Of course it does," I exclaim, unable to keep my voice from reaching a shrill pitch. "Don't be naive. Where do you think he goes? Just look at this."

I pad back to his desk and pick up one of the neat stacks of papers.

"All of his work, done! Weeks in advance, in fact. And he doesn't spend his time training either. I would know, since that's where I spend most of my own time." I am not a stalker. "He's with _her._"

Rangiku's strained expression displays her doubt. "You can't know that for sure."

Taking her hand, I draw her to the window. Together we look out across the pavement, to where two figures stand together. Whispers on the breeze.

The slightly taller one leans back on her heels, completely at ease. Hands reaching playfully towards the boy before her, she smiles invitingly. Though the boy doesn't reciprocate her bold flirting, he does nothing to prevent it from continuing. Crossing his arms lightly over his chest, he watches her with an expression I can't place.

My stomach churns.

"Can't I?"

_____________________________________________________

**Oh Shiro-chan.  
Why are you dooinngg this?  
I feel your pain, Momo.  
Boys are stupid.**

**Anyways I hope you liked it :)  
Share your thoughts with me!**


	12. Late night encounter

**Hey Everybody,**

**Okay so I know it's been a while. A realllyyy long while, in fact. Probably like four or five months. I didn't forget about this story. It's just kind of been on the back burner. Life has been pretty crazy, and I guess I had other priorities. I know! I'm ashamed!  
Anyways, I'll start updating more often now.  
Promise :)**

* * *

"Stupid, Stupid, Stupid..." I mumble to myself for the thousandth time this evening. My inherent need to know the truth always seems to dominate over everything else. Why? _Why _couldn't I just have stayed put under my lovely, warm covers instead of deciding to come skulking out here in the middle of the night?

As I make my way around the 9th squad's building, I come to a gradual halt. Pressing my not-so-easily-concealed body against the damp stone of its wall and trying my darnedest not to make a sound, the low murmur of voices makes it way to my ears. I close my eyes. Please, let me be imagining his voice. Let this all be simply a product of my overactive imagination.

"I'm glad you finally agreed to meet me here." A sugary voice purrs, barely audible beneath the incessant chirp of restless crickets.

My breathing creeps dangerously close to hyperventilation. I cannot believe this.

"Alright," A voice replies, unnerved and ill at easy. "I'm listening"

Shiro-chan, what are you doing?

My eyes sting with the unpleasant sensation of suppressed tears. I clamp a trembling hand over my mouth, feeling as though I may cry out in pain at any second. I knew this would be the sight I'd encounter if I followed them. I knew it. So why am I so shocked now? I've heard similar conversations all the time. In my imagination. So none of them were real, granted. Only guesses. But it appears I wasn't far off my mark...

My breath catches with a start. Before I have time to react, even register what's happening, strong hands yank me up from above. I struggle uselessly, trying to disentangle my arms from my attacker's firm grip. I taste, rather than feel, a dirty gag being forced into my mouth.

"Naughty, naughty." An eerily familiar voice mutters huskily. "You shouldn't be eavesdropping on people's conversations, you know. Chances are you may hear things that aren't meant for your ears."

Oh god.

Izuru kneels beside me and runs his calloused thumb down the length of my jaw. His eyes shine with a crazy, almost possessed look of amusement. Twisting his thin lips into a malicious smile, he appraises me approvingly. "Momo. I've missed your pretty face. Where've you been hiding?"

I could ask him the same. Izuru's presence has been in short measure over the past couple of months. Lord knows where he'd been lurking all this time. Though judging by his demeanour, it wasn't somewhere particularly pleasant.

Izuru pushes back his greasy bangs, and muses to himself quietly. "Mmmm, how fortunate I am. You're quite the catch. Leiko will be mighty pleased with me. " A disturbing smile suddenly lights up his gaunt face; I can practically see the horrible thought as enters his demented head. "I don't think she'd mind...if I gave myself a little reward for all my hard work. After all I've done for her. All these months. A thank you present for myself..."

Squeezing my shoulder painfully, he trails a finger over my collarbone and down my chest. _Longingly. _Ugh. I begin to squirm as forcefully as I can. There is absolutely no way I'm going to be felt up by such a perverted, awful creature. This is no longer the friend I was once so close with, back during my school days. Something is very wrong. I don't know what's happened to him, but I'm not interested in being his pleasure button. Though, I doubt I'll have much appeal when he finds out.

Won't be long now...

Izuru comes to a dead halt as his hand reaches my abdomen. Even if I can't _ha-ha_ him aloud, my body seems quite capable of doing so itself. At six months, four days, it looks as though I've swallowed a moderately sized beach ball. There isn't going to be any questionable activity going on up here, unless girls with a bun in the oven give him the friskies. Yanking his hand back and looking for all the world as if he'd been slapped, Izuru hisses in disgust.

Didn't think so, buddy.

"Guess Leiko was right, then." He murmurs, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "Didn't believe her. Though I've been wondering what her interest in a weak, no-named wash up like you was. Still doesn't make much sense to me though. Far as I'm concerned, you're still just damaged goods."

Before I can even begin making sense of this obscure statement, Izuru freezes. Rushing over to the edge of the roof, he leans precariously into the dark abyss below. I can hear it too.

Footsteps.

The sound of laughter, surprisingly close by, causes us both to jump. Of course, Captain Leiko and Shiro-chan. I had forgotten they were so nearby.

"Thank you again." That horrid, painstakingly lovely voice of hers again. "I'm grateful for your help, really."

I can almost picture Shiro-chan's uncomfortable stance as he mumbles his half hearted reply. "It's no problem. I suppose I'll try to get back within the week, depending on how long it takes me to locate its whereabouts."

What? He's leaving?

"That's quite alright; take as long as you need."

"Goodnight, then"

"Yes, goodnight. Shiro."

That...that revolting...that vile...how dare she...

Furiously, I begin once more to frantically struggle against my binds. But it's hopeless. Izuru laughs abrasively as he watches me wiggle around in vain. Leaning towards forward, until all I can see is that ridiculous smirk on his face, he addresses me with pure contempt, "Poor Momo. Guess its pretty tough having to watch him completely betray you like that, huh? It's alright though. I can assure you. There are much worse things to worry about right now."

He pats my belly gently, and I resist the overwhelming urge to throw myself at him. Instead, I try to burn a hole through him with my eyes. Narrowing them until they're thin slits, I attempt to channel all my pent up rage and anxiety into spontaneously combusting him. Unfortunately Izuru chooses this moment not to comply, preferring instead to gaze just past me over my shoulder.

But really. What does he mean by that? Is it a threat? Oh no. He can't mean _that_. If he does anything to hurt my...

"Well it looks as though you've finally done something right, Izuru!"

This can't be happening.

Unfazed by the backhanded compliment, Izuru glows with pride. "It wasn't easy, you know. She's a feisty one. But I came through for you, didn't I?"

"Yes, well." Captain Leiko's voice continues its irritated reprimand. "If you'd just secured her in the first place, it wouldn't have had to come to this. I'd rather not compromise the child's wellbeing with any potential violence. It could have been avoidable."

Izuru shrugs indifferently. But I can hardly breathe. The rise and fall of my chest is becoming more and more shallow. It's as though I've got a hundred pounds of brick weighing down on me. This feeling again. This awful, drowning in darkness. This liquid death pumping through my veins.

"Don't worry, Momo" Captain Leiko's soft assurance does nothing to ease my suffering. She pinches my cheek affectionately. "It'll all be over soon."

* * *

**Plot's really gonna start rolling now.  
I have some ideas that I hope I'll be incorporate into the story.  
Review if you like ;)**


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